Fear

My daughter fell and needed stitches above her eye about 30 minutes after I took this photo. It isn't the first time one of my kids has had to go to the ER for stitches. It's actually not even the second.

However, I haven't posted much here since that day. The morning she fell, I was planning to doing a 'day in the life' post about my son's activities to create a string related to the post about my day. The day she fell made me question my parenting.

True--it was a total accident. She slipped on a wet step. True--I was standing not even a foot from her. True--I actually caught her and prevented her falling even more steps. The damage to her eyebrow was done despite all these things.

I see her scar now and I see my inadequacies. Just like when my son refuses to eat chicken -- again. Or when she refuses to sit down during a meal. Or when he is unwilling to attempt sounding out a word.

I think it comes down to being afraid. Afraid that I'm not a good enough mother despite overwhelming evidence otherwise. We see what we fear. The little moments reinforce that which all the larger moments contradict.

This is why I need to stand up and try to help other parents see that we are all in this together. We can learn from each other. We can be even better. First, we need to able to come together and admit where we are struggling. We need to step out from behind the curtain and let the light shine on where we need help. We need to reinforce each other.

It starts here with me admitting that I feel like a failure because my daughter accidently slipped on a dew-covered step and needed stitches.

I'm not a failure because I comforted her. I got her to the hospital. I brought coloring books to keep her busy. I kept her calm when they did their work. I have done my best to keep her safe since. I took her to get those stitches out. Everyday, I watch that scar heal.

Can we be afraid if we name our fear? Sure. But I sure feel better after telling this story. You'll feel better if you tell yours.